Censure World of Caprice
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
9:34 PM
This is an entry I started in September of 2008. I know what caused it, and ironically enough (is this the correct use of ironic, Chelsea?) it's exactly how I have felt very recently.
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As time passes and people move in and out of my life, I find myself reverting back to former selves which were influenced by time and the people in my life in that phase.
High School Rachel, Post Europe Rachel, University Rachel, North by Northwest Rachel, Best Buy Rachel, New York Rachel.
My preferences in music, movies and literature change, as do those of people, politics, and fashion, insignificant as it is.
Its curious how the absence of a personality in ones life can shape, or revert a person into a former-self, though, still changed by experiences and appearance.
I feel as though people never realize the change that occurs in ones self until the loss of a significant presence.
Why should, or, how can a friend or acquaintance influence our state of being to such a degree? Is it a factor that depends on when the friendship was formed? Perhaps it most has to do with what phase of life you were in at the time? Or what you wanted and hoped to receive from the friendship in question?
It seams to me that ones own derision and disappointied hopes shape the attitude and mood of oneself to the point that the phase and state of living is changed to an imaginable degree. Such a degree that a separation of said shifter/friend/personality is the only way for one to regain anything of our original form, or, pre-selfs.
Theorizing that a pre-self is much healthier and happier in there current state, how can one reintroduce a person that has caused such shifts within life?
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