Mansion of Misery
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
9:35 PM
Im going to start doing this again. I'm pretty sure the internet has now moved on from Blogger to the likes of Tumblr and Wordpress and sures, I know how to use both, I mean, I practically invented the internet when I was 5, however, as much as I would like to start a new Wordpress and/or Tumblr, I'm not really sure if I'll keep up with the "Blogging".
Lets be honest, what the fuck do I really have to talk about? Well, I'll tell you...stuff. Some REAL important stuff. For instance, I just finished a book. I cant really tell you about it though because it was a teen novel and I'm trying to sound cool here. "I like bow ties now. Bow ties are cool." That being said, when it gets optioned by FOX in about a month to be the next big teen movie series, I'm totally going to be that person who is like, "Oh, that book? Yeah, I read that ages ago. Yeah, I was a fan from the very beginning. Psht."
In other news, I'm heading to Portland this weekend for a myriad* of family activities.
*Note, this is how my brain works:
Im familiar with the word "myriad". In my mind I use it a lot, however, just now, these are the steps I had to take to spell it correctly.
1.) Type it into Google as "merimid". Yell at the computer when mermaid keeps coming up. FUCK.
2.) Search for synonyms of "variety", thinking it will certainly show up. It doesn't. Consider using multifarious instead, but, knowing someone who knows me may read this one day, I cant use it because that was the first time Id seen that word, and someone will totally know it.
3.) Keep typing different variations of how I think myriad may be spelled. Luckily "miried" brought up myriad and I was in business. It was well worth the detour through the internets to become victorious.
Now, back to my weekend activities...eh, I don't really want to write about those. Maybe when I get back and I have stories to share that are worth sharing. Maybe something with a bear in them or butt pee.
Just now, I considered editing the butt pee section above. But you know what, I talk about butt pee in real life. Maybe like twice a week. This should all be an accurate representation of myself, so, butt pee stays.
I will leave everyone, Gillian and Chelsea that is, with my thought of the day. Wait, sorry, no, I have to publish this now. The cat just did something really cute and I need to go pet her.
Till next time, parting is such sweet sorrow.
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Censure World of Caprice
9:34 PM
This is an entry I started in September of 2008. I know what caused it, and ironically enough (is this the correct use of ironic, Chelsea?) it's exactly how I have felt very recently.
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As time passes and people move in and out of my life, I find myself reverting back to former selves which were influenced by time and the people in my life in that phase.
High School Rachel, Post Europe Rachel, University Rachel, North by Northwest Rachel, Best Buy Rachel, New York Rachel.
My preferences in music, movies and literature change, as do those of people, politics, and fashion, insignificant as it is.
Its curious how the absence of a personality in ones life can shape, or revert a person into a former-self, though, still changed by experiences and appearance.
I feel as though people never realize the change that occurs in ones self until the loss of a significant presence.
Why should, or, how can a friend or acquaintance influence our state of being to such a degree? Is it a factor that depends on when the friendship was formed? Perhaps it most has to do with what phase of life you were in at the time? Or what you wanted and hoped to receive from the friendship in question?
It seams to me that ones own derision and disappointied hopes shape the attitude and mood of oneself to the point that the phase and state of living is changed to an imaginable degree. Such a degree that a separation of said shifter/friend/personality is the only way for one to regain anything of our original form, or, pre-selfs.
Theorizing that a pre-self is much healthier and happier in there current state, how can one reintroduce a person that has caused such shifts within life?
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New York
Sunday, September 11, 2011
1:26 AM
Tonight, after 5 years of living in New York, I finally understand it. NY is not for the weak of heart. Its for those with convictions. Its for those who want the most of out of life, who are looking for the most experience as humanly possible. Because of this, falling in love in NY is hazardous. NY will make you feel more of yourself, more of your partner than you would anywhere else. You get to know them in a small town, because that's what NY is. It's small. Anyone who says differently doesn't understand. NY is such an intense place. All of the people here, all of the history, all of the dreams and hopes and achievements makes this more than any other place. It makes it charged with energy and feeling.
The people I have gotten to know here, I know better than anyone else. The people I have loved here, I will love forever. It makes it a place I never want to leave and at the same time, it makes it a place I must escape. Can anyone survive in NY without love? Can anyone leave NY being in love with some one who is still here?
I don't expect most to understand this, and thats okay. But I wish I knew what to do about it.
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