Being in a funk is weird. It only lasts so long but I've found its when your most truthful about things. What you feel, what you want, how you see things. The most essential parts of how you want your life to be proceeding. And then, as soon as it came upon you, settled and left you with mountains of doubt, its gone. Somehow, its resolved, but you didn't resolve it. You just went and saw a movie. Instead of focusing on yourself, you watched Jason Bourne and as you walk out of the theater you realize you don't feel the same. You can still think about the frustrating things that were plaguing you earlier in the day, but, they aren't as frustrating anymore.  You mostly thought about things that don't exist one moment, but can the next. They are for the most part descriptive words...but how do you determine if they are in fact a reality for you? If they 'are' from one moment to the next. The words have both mental attributes and to some extent  you can feel them, physically that is, but you can't possibly quiz yourself and come up with any plausible answers to there validity when relating them to yourself? Right?  Don't you ultimately end up telling yourself what you want to hear once this internal quiz takes place? Aren't you just supposed to know these things? They become apparent somehow and you realize one day if they 'are' or if they 'aren't'? Its really the only conclusion I can draw from the day. Maybe you want the things to 'be' but your sure if they 'are' it isn't good for you. Not right now. Not in this phase of your life. But then you cant imagine it being any other way then it is. And its your fault. I guess I just wanted it from the start. Wanting things that you don't need, well, its not that you don't "need" them, you always need it, but, you didn't think about what would happen if it became. I guess thats where the saying comes from after all. And I only took it to be speaking of physical appearances. I guess I just didn't realize.

I've read both The Da Vinci Code and Enders Game in the past few days. I enjoyed the research Dan Brown did for his book (Da Vinci). The ideas and the connections as well as the historical background, granted some of it isn't accurate or real, still made the book an enthralling read. For some reason I had reservations about Enders Game. I used to read every Star Wars book I could get my hands on. Always a fan of Science Fiction,  I feared I might have outgrown the style of writing. Of course the complete opposite is true. I loved Orson  Scott  Card writing style. I love his perspectives. His vast imagination of how things could be, and his elaborate descriptions of non-existent tasks was enticing. I guess I just love books that my imagination can have creativity with. You could say all books are that way, but, they aren't. I love walking away from a book feeling as though Im better for reading it. That I learned something, even if its not real. I feel more intellectually simulated. I guess thats what I like most. Is it vain to want to feel stimulated in that way? I don't think so. But, even though its not, I feel like I should keep it to myself. Why should I feel embarrassed about it? Eh. I think Im off topic.

Today I moved the majority of my belongings from Cheney to Spokane. More precisely I moved things from my apartment to my parents garage. So, now Im living out of my parents garage, my old room at my parents house and then my apartment. Let see how many more places I can spread my shit too. Its funny because my two most essential belongings, my clothes and my bed, are still for the most part in Cheney. Some of my clothes made it home to Spokane, they were dirty, and others are still just hanging in my beloved mirrored closet. I don't know how Im going to get over losing that closet. So beautiful...anyways, Jen and I are cleaning the place on Tuesday and then all is over. My year of living away from home will have come to an end and I will be house broken again. The only real difference between having my own place and living with my parents is, well, my parents. I have no curfew, I come and go as I please, eating when and were I feel like it, I still work and I still drink. Im going to miss my privacy though. And the quite. Though I bitched about living with myself because Jen spent so much time with Rob, its nice having silence. Being alone sometimes. Sometimes.

I saw The Bourne Supremacy today. I would tell you to go see it but Im sure you already have plans to. Very good. Very Very. I used some of my Run Lola Run vocab to tell what was being said in certain scenes. Who says you can't learn a foreign langue from a movie. Ok, maybe no one ever said that.

If your still reading, stop. Im done.

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