Man, I want to be getting drunk like Tasha is. Well, she better be. Heheh.

Been reading a store I havent read in a while. Its a story that makes me want to be successful, and fit and professional and cuddly and loved. Its a good story. I have read it millions of times each year. Found it back in my Sailor Moon days.

My Aunt and Brother put up the X-mas lights at my Grandmas house tonight. I wish someone would have told me, I would have gone over and helped. My family is weird. My parents dont celebrate X-mas, and I wasnt allowed to follow my own religious beliefs or lack there of until I was a sophomore in high school. The first few years doing Christmas was bumpy, I didnt like to talk about it around my parents. The sad thing is my dad used to love Christmas. My Grandma always tells me these great stories about how he used to find the perfect present for everyone and his wrapping would always be so lovely. The kid was a Christmas expert. It makes me sad to think about it. Today he asked me what money I was using to buy all my presents. I was like, what money Daddyo, he laughed. He asked if I was making cards, I said thats a big 10-4 Dad. The funny thing is he INSISTS that we buy presents for Grams and Gramps, as it is only right and he even takes my brother X-mas shopping for all his presents that will go to my Dads family. Its weird and sad and I wish I could have known my dad when he did Christmas. Christmas has become so commercialized and more of an American Holiday then a Religious one in some families. I give gifts because I love to. I love to shop for others, I love to see their faces when they open them. I love to give people gifts because I love them. My moms side of the family doesnt do Christmas as well. They used too. My mother and father and my moms mom and her second husband are of the same religion. It always makes holidays weird. All the kids take part in X-mas but the parents dont. Can you imagine spending a day that centers around family with out your parents? So, this is my 5th Christmas and I am looking forward to it. I dont know what I am going to do for presents, I want to get small things for people, but, as I dont have any money of my own I dont know what I will be doing. Ive never seen mistletoe on a door. I know the complete words to two Christmas carols and I have never had my own Christmas tree. Im looking forward to these things this year.

Im going to go clean. Mom said she would trade me cleaning for money. I have to pay for John Mayer, so, I better get to it.

Baby all I want for Christmas...
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